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From Rags to Minimalist

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So I have been on the road of self discovery for some time now but its finally settling in. I’ve recently  found the life of Minimalism. I was able to give away about 3 bags of clothes but it is over whelming. Honestly it was so hard to start. Between my boyfriend and I we had clothes all over. It was so overwhelming I constantly found myself sitting on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands.

The three bags were just mine and they are gallon size garbage bags. We are taking the bags to Platos Closet so maybe I can be happier with the process. As the clothes piles were getting smaller I found it harder and harder to give things up. But at the same time I also noticed how much of the clothes were so cheaply made. I noticed I had more cheap, broken clothes than quality clothes.

I went online to research how much quality clothes cost and I almost had a heartache. Between having my heart hurt from getting rid of clothes to seeing how much money quality clothes cost I had about two panic attacks. I started to realize why I had such a problem with minimalism.

I grew up poor. My parents were very young and we had struggled for everything we have. As soon as I started to get “adult money” I started to buy to replace all the wants I ever wanted as a child. Its hard to say out loud or write it down but its the truth. This is something I have to put my focus on now. I have to realize that it is ok and BETTER to spend 90.00 on a pair of Levi jeans if they last me 3 years than to buy 9 pairs of 10 dollar jeans that will last me 3 months.

This is a hard road of self discovery but I’ve been on it for nearly 4 years and its the best and ONLY thing I’ve whole heartedly stuck to and its made me happy. Every year I get better. I can feel it. My heart just keeps growing with love and letting go of anger, hate, anxiety, and revenge.

I really do love me and this smile is genuine. If theres any minimalist out there that can send me any brand advice I would love to hear it! xO

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I Work Out

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So it has been a solid two weeks of dedication. Hubby and I have really taken to getting into out fitness. We have cut down on the amount of fast food we eat. I started to cook some meals rather than only relying on him to feed us.

I started to make sure I eat at least 5 times a day. Three meals and two snacks, although it seems to turn into three snacks and two meals. I have been really changing my relationship with food and am truly enjoying the journey.

I ran my first mile in years. Although it was 11 minutes I shaved off 3 seconds of my time already. I love what my body is able to do. I am still learning to use my mind over my body. I can get in the zone but it doesn’t last as long as I would like. Slowly but surly I am building the healthiest I can be.

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Goals

B6F5EF58-34BE-49E6-81E0-F49AE02EFA0AAs long as I could remember I always had goals for myself and lists. As much as I remember the goals and lists I also remember not finishing most them. One of the main goals I’ve always had to lose weight. About 3 years ago I started to really focus on it and through out these three years I’ve strongly maintained between the 15 I want to lose. I am tired of this constant battle.

Last year I got down to my goal weight of about 135 but then it was a short victory because 5 pounds came back quick. Recently I’ve been really focusing on my food and water intake. I’ve been learning more and skipping less meals. My mentality has changed and I want to be healthy I do not want to be skinny. I want to be able to do a cartwheel without worrying. I want to be able to run a mile no worries.

This time around I really want to learn as much as I can about nutrition. I want to fuel my future children the right way. Growing up and being raised by young parents fast food was a staple to our diet. When my parents separated food became a comfort. Renewing a 27 year old relationship is hard but this time I am dedicated. Today we are going to sign up for the gym and tomorrow starts our first gym day. Ive been looking for a new hobby and my fitness will be it.

If I did it before I can do it again. I started to learn about my macros. Its a bit confusing but I really do enjoy it. MyFitnessPal is also such a huge help! So here it goes again!

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Energy Suckers & a Revelation

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It’s hard to really protect yourself from all the negative energy and patterns in the world. Even though I try my best to not get sucked in. Some of the people I am forced to spend my time with are very negative and these energy suckers. They wish bad behind your back and spit venom every time they speak about you. They only wish the worse for you and hate to see you succeed. They want to plant seeds of hate and anger in you and help to grow them. I have fallen for traps that they have placed but we can only recognize and grow. I know that I have grown and continue to. About two days ago I woke up feeling brand new. I can’t really explain it but it was like someone shut off my over caring button.

I truthfully just do not care about things that do not affect me. I am surrounding myself with only people that want the best for me. I will only think positive thoughts and partake in positive experiences. I CHOOSE not to be upset, anxious, worried, and anything but happy.

The most important aspect that I have realized is that other peoples opinions and feelings do not have anything to do with me. They do not affect me at all. I also noticed how much better I feel when I don’t say I’m sorry for everything. You know why because I 99% of the time was not truly sorry. Someone else drops something, “oh I’m sorry” someone bumps into me “oh I’m sorry” someone is having a shitty day “oh I’m sorry” nope not anymore. You dropped something? here I’ll pick it up, you’re welcome. someone bumps into me, turn and deep stare until they apologize (lol not really I just keep it moving.) you’re having a shitty day? maybe you’re having the day you deserve.

I am first. And this does sound a little me, me, me but it does not have anything to do nor affect my family and close circle of friends. I will always be me but I will be more selective with who I will let see me.